The First Korean Missionary

The first Korean missionary

In my mid-twenties, I had a big fight with my boyfriend. I cried on the way home and thought to myself: “Why am I crying?  Because I thought there was someone who could fill my heart” The certainty arose in me that “only God can fill my heart.” This was my first experience of God. Now I want to share with you the call that I discovered to “BE REST FOR JESUS”.

 

I’m Korean. I studied Japanese language education in college and after graduating I worked in a company in Japan for 8 years. There I met the missionaries and entered the Community when I was 32 years old.

 

I never thought about wanting to do something for the world. And I enjoyed my personal life so much that I never imagined that God would call me to be a missionary, until I was 29 years old. When I met the missionaries, I started going to the retreats and prayer meetings they held. Watching them live in Japan, I thought that such a life would be impossible if God did not exist.

I want to rest

One day, in prayer, looking at the cross, it seemed to me that Jesus’ eyes were very sad. And I felt that he was telling me: “I want to rest.” I didn’t know what he was talking about, but something prompted me to quit my job that summer and take a 3-month trip to Europe. I wanted to find the answer to what “God wanted for my life.” That was when I did a 38 day retreat with the missionaries.

 

I began the retreat afraid that God would not give me an answer. And it was not easy for me to recognise how “down” and “lost” I felt. Isaiah 43 was a great comfort to me: “do not be afraid.” And one day, when my fear was gradually disappearing, suddenly verse 1 really touched me: “I call you by your name, you are mine” (Is 43:1). At that moment, I thought, “Huh? I am mine, how come God tells me that I am his?” I was very surprised because until that moment I had never thought that I belonged to God. And this word, “you are mine,” seemed to me to be a loaded expression of God’s affection for me.

My decision

After this, I began to think about what my heart longed for and what I had dreamt of. And at the end of the retreat, a missionary’s words during a talk about chastity stuck in my heart. “Don’t be afraid to fall in love! Love with all your heart!” And I felt: “this is it!” “This is the life I want to live!” I understood that if I love unconditionally like Jesus did, I will be free of myself and, then, I can be happier than anyone else. I remembered that whisper from Jesus, “I want to rest,” and I realized that God was calling me to be his rest. That is why today I want to live being “rest for Jesus”, a place where anyone can come and rest. This is my mission that makes me free and happy.

 

Christina Shin SEMD South Korea